Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Do all you people that took the "jab" feel lied to yet?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Who is the greatest light welterweight boxer of all time?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can read

What have you learned from your parents' mistakes?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Can you explain the difference between “mi piace” and “mi piacciono” in Italian?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

What made you stop being an addict?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When Kundalini is awakened accidentally, what can be done?

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I vibrated my dogs shock collar while it was eating my other dog’s food and now it won’t eat. How do I fix this problem?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Texas public health departments brace for another $119 million in federal cuts - The Texas Tribune

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What is the meaning of xx in texting?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

How do you handle your mother-in-law after you heard her talking badly about you in the next room?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do many modern Hollywood films rely heavily on CGI and visual effects instead of actual sets? What is your opinion on this trend?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Were there any friendly fire incidents involving American submarines, aircraft carriers, or battleships during World War II or World War I?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Ananda Lewis’ sister reveals former MTV VJ’s dying wish - New York Post

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand how hurricane paths work

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy bullshit

I took the same Oath and took it seriously